How to Master Your Habits

First we make our habits, then they make us.  John Dryden

Habits are the behaviors that are wired so deeply in the brain that we perform them automatically. How much of your day do you spend acting out of habit? Getting ready in the morning, going to work, interacting with others, reacting to stress. etc. Much of what you do is habitual, and should be! It would be a terrible waste of energy to have to pay attention to everything all the time. Habits free our minds to focus on tasks that are more important.

The problem arises when we want to eliminate an old, deeply ingrained, negative habit (e.g., eating unhealthy snacks, interrupting others, reacting emotionally, etc.) and create a new, positive one (e.g., snacking on fruit, asking more questions, responding appropriately, etc.). It is not easy to rewire our brains. Experience teaches us that knowing is not doing. In fact, the inability to develop new habits is why many of our New Year resolutions fail and is often the reason we don't apply what we learn from others.

So, how do you update your brain's subconscious software routines so that what you want to do becomes what you routinely do? How can you transform a desired behavior into a new habit? There are many ways to accomplish this difficult task. Leaders that I have coached tell me that the most effective technique they have learned is linking an old habit to the desired behavior. Let me explain...

The idea is to take an existing habit and use it to remind yourself to practice the new behavior routinely, so the new behavior becomes your new habit. In other words, you link what is already wired into your brain (the old habit) to what is not (the new behavior) to create the new habit. The equation below expresses this powerful concept in a simple equation.

Old Habit + New Behavior = New Habit

This idea is as old as tying a string around your finger. The only question is, how will you use the principle to help you create the habits that make you? Listed below are several examples of how highly successful leaders combined their old habits with new behaviors. Adapt them to your situation and preferences.

1. Index cards. Write a behavior on a 3 x 5 index card. Put the card in your pocket. Whenever you put your hand in your pocket, read the card. Put a check mark on the card every time you practice the behavior.
2. Pocket change. Put seven coins in the right pocket of your slacks. Every time you put your hand in your right pocket, move one coin from the right pocket to the left pocket and remind yourself to practice your new behavior. Let the coins be a metaphor about the importance of making small change over time. (Thanks to my friend Bonnie Dean for this suggestion.)
3. Watch. Program your watch to beep on the hour. Use the beep to remind yourself to practice the new behavior.
4. Mirror. Slightly tilt the rearview mirror in your car. Every time you look in the mirror, tell yourself aloud how you are applying your behavior today.
5. Notepad. Write a “reminder word” at the top of the notepad you use during your calls. Every time you looked down to scratch a note, you will be prompted to use your new behavior.
6. Calendar. One leader told me recently that he programmed Outlook to remind him to practice his listening skills. He's using computer software to rewire his brain's hardware.
7. Phone. Since you probably use your phone a lot, write a post-it-note to prod yourself to practice the new behavior whenever you're on the phone.
8. Computer. Can you change your screensaver to remind you to practice a behavior?
9. Wristband. One leader has a bracelet that she pulls to inspire her to apply recently learned emotional intelligence behaviors.
10. Team member. Who can you count on to regularly encourage and remind you to take daily action?

Sow a thought, reap an action,
Sow an action, reap a habit,
Sow a habit, reap a character,
Sow a character, reap a destiny.  Charles Reade

Keep stretching when you're pulled, Dave.

P.S. Dave Jensen and his team transform proven leadership tools into your success stories. Dave is also a popular speaker at conferences, meetings, and workshops. He can be reached in Los Angeles, CA at (310) 397-6686 and http://davejensenonleadership.com/index.html